I have an old shoe box that sits on top of my closet. I never got to touch it since the time I posted about the same old shoe box back in 2011. It has gotten too dusty and too frail to hold all the letters and other memorabilia that were in it.
Old letters from my old shoe box
My old friends know me too well. They know how much I love sending letters, much more, receiving and reading letters. My childhood bestfriend, Faith, and I exchanged letters since grade school even though we are living in the same city and not to mention, we see each other every Sunday. My bestfriend and partner-in-crime in highschool, Dice, used to give me cards on random days, she pins it on our classroom bulletin board and it never fails to surprise me. And who would forget my bespren, RJ, when he bought a filler notebook and wrote a letter to it and then scoured the whole campus for the whereabouts of our other teammates in football and asked them to write a letter for me? That was a classic move. My ever reliable friend, El-el, used to send me random letters way back in college, and I love reading it even though her letters seemed to go on forever. And yes, I could go on forever.
I wish Baymax was real. Jan is sick. And so am I. I could really use one big huggable inflatable robot that looks like a giant marshmallow right now.
My Baymax is rather slim. Haha
I don't think anyone's going to disagree with me if I say we all need a Baymax in our lives.We need someone who would be there for us and make sure we're alright after we've been hurt. (It is alright to cry. Crying is a natural response to pain.)
We need someone who can give us an epic hug whenever we feel down after a bad day. (There... There...)
We need someone who can be with us in our shenanigans and have a good laugh about it afterwards. (We jumped out a window!)
We need someone who can calm us down and teach us how to handle our temper because Baymax himself doesn't believe in inflicting harm to others and he has this way of turning your ugly thoughts into creative ones. (Will this stabilize your pubescent mood swings?)
We need someone who can push us to think way outside the box whenever we feel stuck or uninspired. (Flying makes me a better care provider.)
And above all, we need someone who can inspire us to become better persons. (I cannot deactivate until you say, "I am satisified with your care.")
Now, if we think carefully about it, all the while, we had our very own Baymax. Mine is just too sick to be one right now. ;)
Last night was a movie date night. Jan and I watched the third and final installment of "The Hobbit". Although I would have to say the movie isn't really faithful to the book because I don't remember reading a lot of scenes portrayed in the film. The movie itself was good though as it ended on a high note. But what has blown me away were the artworks that were shown at the end credits. I never took my eyes off it, told myself I would draw something the next day. So today, what I'm about to show you is my first attempt at drawing Smaug (and my second drawing for this year after so many years). It's not that awesome, but I love it, nonetheless.
That's a question thrown at me that is answerable only by a clueless shrug. Maybe if I referred to those infamous 10-signs-you've-found-the-one list articles, I would have known what to say. But that is simply not the case. Now, let's keep this real. How do I know I've found the one? I've got three words: I. Don't. Know.
They say that once you have found the one, you just know it. But the truth is, no you don't. Anyone struck by the stupid cupid's arrow would always feel like he/she has found the one. Kahit sino naman siguro, kapag mahal mo, lagi mong iisipin na siya na. Pero hindi pala. Yeah, I've been there. Done that. Apparently, the one I thought was the one isn't the one after all.
Right now, I am in a relationship where I am genuinely happy. Whatever I feel is more than just the butterflies in my stomach. It goes deeper than that. This is the point in my life when I knew love isn't just a magical feeling but a decision to make. This is when I say I want him in my life. This is when I chose to love him despite the odds and all those shit that came along. I love him not because he is an amazing person, or because he can make me laugh, or because I feel home whenever I'm with him, or because he makes me a better person. I love him just because I love him despite his flaws and imperfections.
Our relationship isn't perfect, and so is he. But I want to create memories out of those imperfections with him. Those memories, whether good or bad, are the ones I can never trade for anything in this world. So if ever the relationship blows, which I hope it doesn't, at least once in my life I knew I have found love that's worth keeping for a lifetime.
So have I found the one? I am still not certain about that. But what I am absolutely certain is that I am with a man who loves me the way I have always wanted to be loved. And just like anyone who is truly, madly, deeply in love, I would like to believe I did.
It was back in 2004 when I stepped into the world of blogging, not knowing which direction I am taking in (hence, the nicheless blogs). I just did it because I needed to displace my anger and frustrations about family, school, relationships, and what I thought was a shitty life. I never knew blogging could be my breather. Despite being lost in the big world of blogosphere, it gave me my own space in cyberlandia, like a home where I can be myself. And the best of all, it felt like somebody was listening to everything I say, my lamest rants included, even though nobody (that I know of) was actually reading. It made me feel better knowing that I've let out an emotion that is about to burst. And still it does.
It has been ten years since the first time I typed my thoughts out loud. Those years of bitter-sweet and love-hate relationship I had with blogging helped me understand myself better, who I am in this world, and what I am becoming. It took me to a path where I can ponder about life and helped me realize what's meaningful and important. It gave me a voice, and even more so, made me strong enough to stand up to my opinions.
Since Christmas is drawing nearer and nearer and, truth be told, getting more commercialized than ever, and people are in the subject of making wishlists... magpapahuli ba naman ako? I'm making a list, and checking it twice, gotta find out if I missed anything nice. Will Santa Claus be coming to town? Haha.
Anyway, here's my wishlist (ordered according to level of desire with 1 being the highest):
I don't really brag about my purchases, except for the books and for this one. But save those sneers, what I am about to brag has a little story to tell.
You must understand, ever since I first set foot on Mt. Apo with my ever reliable Sandugo sandals and blistered feet, I promised myself a good pair of shoes for this kind of adventure. It took me almost a decade to be able to afford one. And here it is! Finally.
Well, I must have been very nice this year because I got the perfect(est), best(est), and comfiest hiking shoes this Christmas! Woot! And the best part is, I defintely am the luckiest when I got this.
“It's the questions we can't answer that teach us the most. They teach us how to think. If you give a man an answer, all he gains is a little fact. But give him a question and he'll look for his own answers.” ― Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man's Fear